Podle m\u011b si ka\u017edej pod t\u00edm st\u0159edn\u00edm v\u011bkem m\u016f\u017ee p\u0159edstavit co chce on. Nemus\u00ed to bejt \u00fapln\u011b lidstvem danej v\u011bk. Je to tak, jak se kdo cejt\u00ed. Mn\u011b bude brzo, jako\u017ee fakt hodn\u011b brzo u\u017e 25 a \u0159eknu v\u00e1m, je to na m\u011b asi moc. Un\u00fdst to, \u017ee mi je cel\u00fd \u010dtvrt stolet\u00ed a \u017ee m\u00e1m za sebou pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b jednu t\u0159etinu \u017eivota, s t\u00edm na\u0161\u00edm nespan\u00edm pravd\u011bpodobn\u011bjc p\u016flku \u017eivota, je… t\u011b\u017ek\u00fd. Bejt dementem v p\u011btadvaceti je t\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00ed, ne\u017e bejt dementem v sedumn\u00e1cti. V takov\u00fdm v\u011bku toti\u017e bejt dement m\u016f\u017eete a va\u0161e okol\u00ed st\u00e1le v\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee z toho vyrostete. V m\u00fdm v\u011bku zm\u011bnu okol\u00ed ji\u017e neo\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1, pomalu se s t\u00edm smi\u0159uje, rodi\u010de st\u00e1le vid\u00ed nad\u011bji, kamar\u00e1dy to bav\u00ed a v\u00e1s to v\u00edc a v\u00edc zneklid\u0148uje.<\/p>\n
Chci neb\u00fdt dement? No jasn\u011b, \u017ee nechci. \u010clov\u011bk, co nikdy nevyrostl z puberty a ani je\u0161t\u011b nechce. A mo\u017en\u00e1 nikdy nechce. Jako pubert\u00e1ln\u00ed dement si m\u016f\u017eu dovolit skoro v\u0161echno. Kdybych byla dvacetip\u011btilet\u00e1 takov\u00e1, jak\u00e1 bych m\u011bla bejt, sed\u011bla bych n\u011bkde v kav\u00e1rn\u011b a zoufale sh\u00e1n\u011bla otce m\u00fdch d\u011bt\u00ed, kter\u00fdm bych nakonec ve dvaaty\u0159iceti z\u00e1vid\u011bla jejich \u017eivoty.<\/p>\n
Tohle m\u011b n\u011bkdy p\u0159ejde samo? Bude to postupn\u011b a nebo prost\u011b p\u016fjdu sp\u00e1t jako dement a probud\u00edm se jako dosp\u011bl\u00e1? Budu trapn\u00e1, kdy\u017e to budu udr\u017eovat n\u00e1siln\u011b? Za\u017ealuj\u00ed m\u011b rodi\u010de 17ti let\u00e9ho syna z bl\u00edzk\u00e9 farmy za jeho zn\u00e1siln\u011bn\u00ed? Budu k\u0159i\u010det r\u00e1no u zrcadla na cel\u00fd d\u016fm, a\u017e se objev\u00ed vr\u00e1sky?<\/p>\n
„Bere\u0161 pr\u00e1\u0161ky, \u017eejo?“ <\/em><\/p>\n Jako… u\u017e zase beru, ale ne po t\u00fd slavn\u00fd pauze tak dlouho, abych si byla jist\u00e1, \u017ee nebudu t\u011bhotn\u00e1. Rann\u00ed \u0161\u00edlenstv\u00ed z mo\u017en\u00fdho t\u011bhotenstv\u00ed se b\u011bhem p\u016fl hodiny strachu a vyd\u011b\u0161en\u00fdch o\u010d\u00ed m\u011bn\u00ed ve sm\u00edch co v\u0161echny d\u011bs\u00ed, nad n\u00e1ma vis\u00ed p\u00e1r jmen pro d\u00edt\u011b a v\u0161ichni jsou nasran\u00ed, \u017ee se zm\u011bn\u00ed v\u0161echny pl\u00e1ny na p\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u00ed rok.<\/p>\n „Hm, tak j\u00e1 pojedu s v\u00e1ma, koup\u00edme d\u016fm na pl\u00e1\u017ei a budeme tam bydlet v\u0161ichni.“ „Tak jo!“<\/em><\/p>\n Menstrua\u010dn\u00ed bolest, ibalgin 400 a moje do\u017eivotn\u00ed z\u00e1soba tampon\u016f dne\u0161kem rozrostl\u00e1 o dal\u0161\u00edch 32 kus\u016f a j\u00e1 s mod\u0159inama na \u017eebrech, poslintanou nohou, rozkousan\u00fdma prstama na noh\u00e1ch a dv\u011bma otiskama prst\u016f z mastn\u00fdch hnusn\u00fdch walkers chili bacon<\/em> chips\u016f na prav\u00fd ruce. Tuh\u00fd mejdlo na umyvadle a koupelna bez ru\u010dn\u00edku.<\/p>\n Dne\u0161kem skon\u010dilo jedno nejlep\u0161\u00ed l\u00e9to, co kdy bylo. L\u00e9to, kdy jsem pochopila spoustu v\u011bc\u00ed, pro\u017eila \u00fapln\u011b nov\u00fd v\u011bci, v\u011bci n\u011bkdy bez jedin\u00fd kapky alkoholu. L\u00e9to, kdy jsme s holkama byly fakt v\u0161ude, kde jsme mohly a u\u017e\u00edvaly jsme si ka\u017edou vte\u0159inu naplno, jako by ka\u017edej den m\u011bl bejt n\u00e1\u0161 posledn\u00ed a ka\u017ed\u00fd druh\u00fd r\u00e1no jsme se u\u017e nem\u011bly probudit. Mo\u017en\u00e1 mi to na chv\u00edli zm\u011bn\u00ed \u017eivot. Mo\u017en\u00e1 mi to na d\u00fdl zm\u011bn\u00ed \u017eivot. \u00a0A\u017e tenhle v\u00edkend se to po \u010dtvrt roce zastavilo. Tenhle v\u00edkend jsem po tak dlouh\u00fd dob\u011b poprv\u00e9 le\u017eela v posteli, nem\u011bla co d\u011blat a sj\u00ed\u017ed\u011bla jsem seri\u00e1ly a ob\u010das usnula.<\/p>\n Po cel\u00fdch pln\u00fdch osmi m\u011bs\u00eds\u00edch jedu u\u017e \u0161\u00edlen\u011b brzo dom\u016f do \u010cesk\u00fd republiky a zd\u00e1 se mi to cel\u00fd \u0161\u00edlen\u00fd. Trochu se boj\u00edm, \u017ee se mi tohle dokonal\u00fd l\u00e9to cel\u00fd jenom zd\u00e1lo.<\/p>\n \u0160koda, \u017ee u\u017e se na blogy d\u00e1vno nem\u016f\u017ee ps\u00e1t pravda.<\/p>\n Dobrou noc v\u0161em<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Podle m\u011b si ka\u017edej pod t\u00edm st\u0159edn\u00edm v\u011bkem m\u016f\u017ee p\u0159edstavit co chce on. Nemus\u00ed to bejt \u00fapln\u011b lidstvem danej…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13,23],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4737"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4737"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4737\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4741,"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4737\/revisions\/4741"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4737"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4737"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aguidetolovelossanddesperation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4737"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}